It's not that I don't think about writing more, because I do. For me it is more about what I will write about. I see a lot of other bloggers that write about their lives, and to be honest, it just isn't something that interests me. So, I have thought about it, and there will probably won't be very many updates about our personal lives, but there will be more about what interests me. Something more about my deep thoughts, because I have lots of them. :)
So, consider the title of my new deep thought:
What I have learned from living with a disabled spouse.
As many of you may or may not know, my husband Richard, is living with the effects of Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue. It isn't something that we go around telling everyone, but it is something we had to come to terms with, both apart and together. When we first were married he was a lot healthier than he is now. When he started to get more and more sick, he was afraid to tell me about. I honestly thought he was a bit lazy. He would come home and wouldn't do anything, although he would promise he was going to get things done. He would not let me know just how terrible he felt. Of course, over the years his illness affected his job, and he lost it. It really has been something I haven't let myself even think about. We lost everything. We did have each other though, and our son.
As I sit here and write about it, I can feel the sting of disappointment and sorrow. Sorrow, I rarely let myself contemplate, for if I did, I would truly be depressed. This entry isn't about being sad though, it is about being grateful for what I have been given. I thank my Heavenly Father for his illness. Don't get me wrong, I wish with everything in my heart that he felt normal, and could enjoy life like so many of our peers do. In all honesty though, it has made me a better wife.
If I was to say one thing about my personality, it would be, I like a good argument and don't mind if those closest to me are hurt by my words and actions. I have improved from when I was younger and especially a teenager, but I love a good argument. Richard can tell you our first year of marriage was difficult. As he has gotten progressively worse, I was forced to think of someone else besides myself. Everything became my personal battle to make him feel better. If I became selfish like I was before, we would not be together, and splitting up my son between me and him is not an option.
I have learned to be more compassionate to those who are house bound, and am starting to become more aware of my neighbors who need my help. I learned compassion, and maybe just maybe, I get to know my Savior better, because charity is the pure love of Christ. This my friends, is the reason God allows difficulties to happen to good people.
Anyway, I left a photo that shows the snow we had last winter. Just in case you want to complain about the heat!
No comments:
Post a Comment