Salt of the Earth

Many years ago, I was having Sunday afternoon dinner, with a friend I did not know very well. As we were discussing different things, she made the comment, "Wow, it is so good to be with people who are the salt of the earth". I did not know what to make of the comment, it wasn't something I had ever heard before.

I have never considered myself the "Salt of the Earth" person, but the more I have thought about it, maybe I should.

In my experience, I have talked to many different people, that would say one thing to your face, and another behind your back.

I have one group of friends that would be amazed at my ability to tell people exactly what I think. They call me brazen or brash, or whatever other adjective that would describe me as bold.

It's funny because I don't feel brave or bold, actually just the opposite.

I believe people should hear the truth, especially when they ask for my opinion about things. I think I have learned how to say things without being offensive, but sometimes being offensive is what is needed.

I have a friend that is currently living with her boyfriend, because she doesn't think marriage is the answer. When the subject comes up, I feel compelled to tell her the truth, not pacify her to make her feel better about her choices. I have told her in the past, she needs to be married, if for no other reason then to protect herself. If you don't have the legal document to protect yourself, you leave yourself open to be taken advantage of.

That is just one example of how I view friendship. It is telling the person you are with the truth at all times. Now, I am not saying, I would walk up to anyone and let them know how ugly they look today, just to tell them the truth. I will though, have the compassion to tell them the things they need to hear, not just want to hear.

I get along with many people, but have very few friends. I wouldn't change a thing though, it is me I have to live with and look in the mirror every day. If that what "Salt of the Earth" means then, I guess I am.

Like them more than you love them.

I have been thinking for a while about what great philosophy I should expound on now. The one thing that has been running through my mind, is how important friendship is to a marriage.

Richard and I met almost 6 years ago, on Match.com. I was living in Utah at the time, and in the same city Richard was in as well. I was registered online for about 6 months before he sent me an email. I had met some interesting people and been on a few dates, but nothing serious. Richard on the other hand, had been dating online for a couple of years.

When he sent me that first email, I was interested, but had just been on a blind date a few days before. I was a little bit infatuated with the guy I went out with, but I decided to answer Richard back. I didn't know where the other guy stood, and I have always believed you need to meet all kinds of people when you are single. Richard and I emailed each other for a few weeks, when he decided to call me.

I still remember vividly the first conversation we had. It really wasn't a conversation, it was more like Richard was talking and I was listening for 30 minuets. I can remember hanging up the phone and thinking to myself, what a dork. He had said at the end of the one sided conversation, I sounded interesting and he wanted to meet me. I didn't want to seem rude, so I agreed to meet him at a restaurant in town. I knew then I probably wasn't going to meet him. I was tired of being rejected, and I had never had a serious relationship.

I met a friend of mine the night I was to meet Richard, and I mentioned how I had ruined my chances with a nerd I met over the Internet. I did send him an email before that night, but he didn't get it, and he went to meet me. When I came home I read my email and he let me know he had been stood up, and he would call me the next night.

I remember the next night, it was around 9:30 and I thought to myself he wasn't going to call, but he did. I don't know what changed, but we started talking and we just couldn't stop. I was happy I had found someone that shared my interests, and we talked until about 3:30 in the morning. I don't think I thought much about it, other than I wanted to talk to him some more.

The next two nights we talked some, and then I moved to California, and we had never met face to face. We continued to talk, and it became pretty clear the relationship was serious. We were married within 4 months of meeting each other over the Internet.

I have often found myself in conversations with married and single people alike. The one question many people have for me is, how did you know you really wanted to marry Richard? The only answer I have ever given is this; marry someone you like more than you love, love will get you married, but like will keep you there.

It is different than being each other's best friend, it is being crazy in like with the person you happen to love.